I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Can you bring me the toilet please
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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