it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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