i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
