your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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