i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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