I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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