Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
