I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
