I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
