Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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