I think I died a long time ago.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
