If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
