They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
