I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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