Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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