I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
