Just fell off a train. Bad.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
