Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I would ride that face into the sunset
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
