I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And then he peed in my hair
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