Farmville is her only friend.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
