I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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