i need an iv and a liver transplant
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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