Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Mom said you looked used
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
