yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize