Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
