she looked like the bat from fern gully.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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