wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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