Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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