i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
