i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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