I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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