these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
