Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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