she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
