I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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