dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
