i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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