I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
