I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
