My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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