Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
