I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
