The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
