Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize