Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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