I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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