So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
