Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
