so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
