If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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