found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
