And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sorry about my life...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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