I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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