I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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