The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
