GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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