Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize