Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
