think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
