so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
