Only a mothe r could love this liver
I looked at my own cervix.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need a beard to bite.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
