let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
