He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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