so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
