Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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