I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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