your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
handjob tips. give me some.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
