I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
