the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
