Swine flu is the new snow day.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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