so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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