Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
