he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
