Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
