Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
