is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
