Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
