dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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