So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
