My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
tell me about the eggs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
