no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
