And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Quick, to the slutcave!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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