shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
