apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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