this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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