My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
