I'm eating all of the evidence.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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