careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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