Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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